Learning to play my own part

by Marnie Titus

 “Now if the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body, it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,’ it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.”

1 Corinthians 12: 15-19

Marnie with Mercy Ministries’ Board member Andrea Ross

It was a snowy February evening and my first Saturday night shift at Mercy. After spending a few hours with the girls, praying with them, and saying goodnight, I remember lying in bed watching the snow falling outside my window and wondering how I had been so fortunate to be working at Mercy. Only five years earlier, I had heard about Mercy Ministries and felt a need to be involved; now, here I was, half a decade later as its newest employee.

During the next few weeks at Mercy, I met all the staff members, observed many of their interactions with the girls, and soon began comparing myself with the other staff and thinking that, in order to work here, I needed to be just like them.

I lost sight of the fact that God had chosen me to work here and He didn’t need me to be someone else. He needed me to simply be me and offer what makes me unique to His work at Mercy. God has made each one of us unique and the value of each individual member of our team at Mercy, or any Christian anywhere in life, comes out when we confidently live our lives as God created us to be. Are we perfect? Not by any means. Can we learn and grow from one another? Yes, of course. However, in trying to be someone else, the world misses out on you and the abilities with which God has gifted you.

Today I understand that I am part of an incredibly gifted and unique team that God has knit together for His work. We are all valuable to and important in the plan God has for each of the girls’ lives at Mercy. Our different individual abilities and gifts are the strength of our team as a unit.

I love knowing that another staff member may be able to describe something to a girl, in a way that I could not, so that she understands God’s heart towards her… and that God could use me specifically to reach one of the girls as well. One person is no better than another, but rather each person is placed perfectly by God to do His will. We are many individual members working together as one body both here at Mercy and throughout the world.

Each individual part of the body works with the other parts to make the whole work. We all have individual strengths and weaknesses but together we are stronger and more able to pursue God’s calling. The body of Christ is truly an example of how a whole can be much greater than the sum of its parts.

A Summer Celebration of Miracles

Last Sunday, under sunny skies and a cool breeze, board, staff, supporters and graduates of Mercy Ministries gathered to celebrate and thank God for everything that He has done over the last year. After enjoying delicious barbequed delicacies and cool drinks, supporters settled in to hear ministry updates from Executive Director Nicola Bartel.

Supporters enjoy a delicious barbecue and each other’s company

Of course the biggest reasons to celebrate are the lives that have been transformed and the hope that has been restored, to broken lives. 8 young women rededicated their lives to God and 7 were water baptized in the last year alone. Graduates (one who came from Edmonton for the occasion!)  and current residents stood to applause for their courage.

Graduates and residents look on in support as Jenn shares her story

2012 graduate Jenn DuLong shared her moving story of freedom, from sexual promiscuity, and an eating disorder through the counseling, care and biblical teaching at Mercy Ministries.  Then she told of a miracle God performed in her life as part of her journey, just as she was beginning to blossom within the security of the Mercy home:

“At 17, I had started having severe panic attacks, and I developed obsessive-compulsive disorder. I was so afraid of germs that I would wash my hands until they would literally bleed; I would never touch doorknobs; I would never shake hands; and if someone at my mother’s house got sick I would go stay with my dad for a couple of weeks until the sickness was out of the house. When I first came to Mercy I had to wear gloves in order to participate in meals and wouldn’t shake hands.”

The Christmas after I came to Mercy Ministries, someone anonymously donated a plane ticket to me so I could visit my family in Nova Scotia for Christmas – I don’t know who they are but thank you if you’re here. At first, I was really concerned about being away from Mercy; however, God surprised me with a very special Christmas present. While I was home, God randomly took away my obsessive-compulsive disorder. Out of no where, I was able to eat without washing my hands, shake others’ hands, and take communion for the first time in over 10 years! I was initially in shock; all I could do was cry and worship God for the two weeks I was home.  Imagine Mercy staff surprise when I came back after Christmas and had a bite of an apple without washing it!”

“The fact that this happened while Jenn was away from the Mercy home is a reminder that, it is God who does the work, not us.”said Nicola after the testimony that followed her report  to supporters. Nicola reported on the many ways God had provided  and worked through Mercy Ministries since the first anniversary celebration last August. Some of the highlights include:

Nicola Bartel Shares highlights from the last year of ministry

• The family of Ed Spence, an enthusiastic supporter of Mercy ministries who passed  away suddenly from a heart attack,  donated money to construct an external building to be used for counselling  and transitional care.
• Mercy Ministries Canada became the first Mercy home to have a doctor who makes weekly house visits.
• A generous businessman donated a second van and paid for the first year’s insurance. Giving us enough transportation to fill the home to its capacity of 20 girls!
• In 2011 Mercy Ministries of Canada miraculously met budget for the first time in its history.

A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed. (psalm 11:25)

Thank you for the refreshing you’ve brought into the lives of young women who need Mercy!

Nancy Alcorn on “100 Huntley Street”

If you missed Nancy Alcorn on 100 Huntley Street last week (or want to watch it again), here you go:

If you would like to purchase Echoes of Mercy by Nancy Alcorn, which she mentioned in her interview, click here to visit our store.

A huge THANK YOU to 100 Huntley Street!

Dallas’ Story: “I am beautiful, blameless, and treasured!”

Graduation day at Mercy is always our favorite day! Last week, two beautiful young women, Sydney and Dallas,  graduated from our program.  Today, we are honoured to share a bit more from our horse-loving, graduate Dallas. Even before she began her emotional testimony, Dallas wanted to make one thing clear to the full room of friends, family, residents, staff, and supporters: “I have forgiven everyone from my past. I praise God that He is the greatest redeemer of all.” Amen.

The Years Before Transformation

Dallas grew up in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan with her parents and little brother. From the outside, her family appeared flawless, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Dallas and her brother endured emotional, mental, and physical abuse, in a home filled with fear and secrets. Dallas desperately wanted to feel loved and safe, but because of the neglect and abuse she endured behind closed doors, she began to believe that there was something wrong with her, that she was only getting what she deserved.

Throughout this time, her mother tried to teach her about God, but this only resulted in warped ideas. Dallas asked Jesus into her heart, out of fear of hell, but she thought that God was judgmental, and he would only love her if she was perfect. It was exhausting. Her mother became ill, and her parents eventually divorced. It was messy.

Then, at a very young age, she became sexually active. This encounter caused Dallas to feel guilt and shame, almost as if she was “used” or “dirty.” She became sexually active with men and women, allowing people to take advantage of her. She became skilled at secrets. She began to be controlled and tormented by fear, particularly through terrible nightmares. Dallas endured negative comments about her weight constantly, even at home, and she pretended not to care, even though it hurt horribly. When she lost weight after an unrelated surgery as a teen, the resulting attention and compliments only confirmed her fear that she was worthy if she was “thin and perfect.” She began cycles of binging and purging, restrictions and indulgences, that continued for years.

Dallas used drugs, sex, and alcohol to cope. She lived a double life, convincing everyone that she was fine, even while addicted. After three years, she half-hardheartedly sought treatment. She “worked the system” – allowing counsellors to believe she was sober, while she kept her destructive behaviors. She lost half of her body weight, due to her eating disorder and addictions.

“I was so sick of life that I honestly felt that, if this was all my life was going to be, I would rather be dead,” said Dallas. That was when her cousin, Jenna, told her to apply at Mercy. During the application process, Dallas’ eating disorder endangered her life. With the care of a Christian psychologist, a dietician’s counsel, the support of her boyfriend, and the fervent prayers of her mom, Dallas’s health miraculously stabilized. This drew her closer to God. For the first time, Dallas felt that God might have something more for her, and she wanted to know more.

Freedom

Supported by family Dallas was healthy enough to run 10k in May

Dallas arrived at Mercy desperate for healing and freedom. She was determined to graduate, to be perfect, so she completed her assignments, met her milestones, and, once again, worked to earned her self-worth. “I believed I was at Mercy to learn how to cope,” admitted Dallas. “But Mercy has not  helped me to “cope” – it’s been so much more than that! I have learned that I can overcome all of my issues, they no longer need to rule my life.”

“I  have honestly fallen head over heels in love with Jesus and I am experiencing an overwhelming relationship with my Heavenly Father,” shares Dallas. “I have nothing to fear. God has proven Himself to me, again and again, how faithful and good He is.”

Dallas has been set free from drug and alcohol addictions, sexual sin, and eating disorders. She is walking in freedom.

“I know that I have the choice – to choose life – and not only that, but I can enjoy it! Every day God wipes my slate clean, and I am ready to battle whatever comes my way. I choose to treasure the body that God has given me. I refuse to let guilt and fear overwhelm me when I eat. God has completely delivered me from my addiction to exercise, and now I am able to exercise for fun, not out of obligation. I was even successful at running the 10K Run for Mercy!”

“I am a child of God,” proclaimed Dallas boldly, “and I am beautiful, blameless, and treasured in the eyes of my Heavenly Father. I no longer live under guilt and shame from my past.”

Thank You

“To my family and friends, your support has gotten me through more than you know” said Dallas. “To the Mercy staff and all the wonderful, amazing people who have been supporting me, and praying for me, words cannot explain the impact you have made in my life. Thank you! And to Jesse, it is only by God’s power, and His grace, that He has enabled you to stand right by my side for the past 5 years, through a lot of turmoil and trouble. Through it all, you have refused give up on me. You are truly amazing.”

Dallas’ most tender words were reserved for her Rescuer though: “Most of all, thank you Jesus… your blood has made me clean, pure and completely brand new; I once was lost but now I am found.”

Dallas celebrates her freedom with Mercy Ministries’ Executive Director Nicola Bartel

Life After Mercy

Dallas went back home to Saskatoon this week, covered in prayer. Like all of our graduates, she will experience a supportive year of Transitional Care as she begins her new chapter. But no matter what she may face in the future, she will never have to do it alone again, from now on, she is walking through life with Jesus. “I have experienced just how important it is that I allow God to do His work, in His timing, and that He has a purpose for everything, both the good and the bad. And, by His grace, I am free!”

We are so proud of you, Dallas! You are so loved. We can’t wait to see what you do with your new freedom.

Mercy Staff Pampered for a Day

What a treat Mercy staff enjoyed last Saturday!

Executive Director Nicola Bartel and Program Director Rachelle Ashbee planned a half day for staff members to get together as a team and to be served by them.

Mercy staff don’t often get to be in the same room together

Staff members at Mercy Ministries, don’t often get the opportunity to be in the same room at the same time because of the different shifts in a 24 hour a day program and the different roles played to bring hope and healing to hurting young women.  Every detail was planned to minister to Mercy Ministries workers and to provide an opportunity for intimacy and greater unity.

With instrumental worship music in the background, the morning started with a light breakfast, and a devotional by Nicola. She reminded staff members – starting in 1Corinthians 12: 4- 6 – of the way each person represents a unique piece of a puzzle that forms the whole picture, both in the body of Christ, and at Mercy Ministries.

 For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us

Then in obedience to Jesus teachings, staff members, paired up and washed each others feet in a powerful demonstration of service to each other.  “We ask the residents to serve each other all the time” explains Rachelle “So we should be serving each other as well.”

Dairy Free Chocolate Mouse for dessert

After an emotional time that included prayer, encouragement and intimate conversation. Staff members paired up with a different person,  interviewed them and shared what they had learned with the rest of the team. Staff learned some surprising and some fun information about each other which, as Nicola put it  “really helps with authenticity.”

The pamper day concluded with staff sharing ideas about self care over a sumptuous lunch created by Alan Koller and washed down with his delicious dairy-free chocolate mouse. Finally, each staff member was surprised with a gift bag , filled with  goodies donated by supporters who care!

Thank you to all our supporters and well wishers who contribute to make service at Mercy such a joy!

I’m running for tummy rubs

Roman moved into the the Mercy Ministries home in March

My name is Roman, and in case you’ve never been introduced, I am the only male living in the Mercy home.  I’m pretty important around here; and if I see you haven’t taken this into account when you visit I will certainly oblige your humanness by reminding you through chewing on your purse or shoes.  I won’t damage them (I’m not that sort of puppy) just enough to get that jolt of adrenaline of fear I might have ruined it.  Once at graduation, Christina thought the day was about her – but I kindly reminded her by eating just a bit of her testimony before she went up to share.  She got in line quickly.

I am running for Mercy because each one of the residents in this house are the best tummy-rubbers, treat-givers, pull rocks out of my teeth, clean up my messes, put my flea-treatment on, brush my hair, adjust my harnessers in the whole entire world.   If they weren’t at Mercy, who would be here to adorn me with love and affection?

See, it’s hard to train humans.  They think because, they are bigger than I am, that their way is the better one.  Of course I pretend to give in to

them– sitting when they repeat ‘wah, wah’ and look at me like I should write out a mathematical equation.  If I do this for them, I get what I want– which is to get them to throw the most beautifully fantastic yellow bouncy ball ever!  Floppity, flop I tear down the hall to get it WAY before them, so fast it’s like they weren’t even TRYING to get it.  Suckers.  All the glory is mine!  If they get uppity and start ignoring me all I have to do is roll over on my back and shoot them a little sigh…. In no time they are ‘oooing and ahhhing’ in my direction; a little praise helps settle a stomach.

Training humans is hard work

But these humans seem pretty special to me.  Especially the ones who are always here, they are my special humans.  For some reason, they all have extra love to give me and receive my kisses and snuggles with tears and joy.  It’s like they are big sponges for it!  Sometimes I see them crying like a leaky sponge, those days I give them an extra snuggle.  I don’t know why but a few of my favourite humans are really angry or really anxious sometimes.  I think some of them can’t help it. I’ve met dogs like that before.  I see them in the park and their owners are very nice to them, so the dog becomes not very nice too.   Makes me really happy my humans aren’t like that all the time, phew I’d be scared and leave them!  Don’t worry about me though, remember, I have them trained *wink.

But the special humans that have been here a really long time – they don’t get angry or anxious so much; they are happier.  Even if I forget to do my very private business outside and do it on the white carpets instead, they don’t punish me – they just make sure I take a longer walk next time to remember.

Roman is a morki-poo
(Maltese, Yorkshire Terrier, Toy Poodle)

So they’re all preparing for a REALLY BIG walk in a few weeks.  Mostly to celebrate how much they love walking me, but I think also so  they can keep the lights on and keep helping my most special humans.  Seems like a good cause, so I’ve lent all four of my paws!  Please make a donation or join my team – Roman’s Rovers. We going to have the most fun on May 12th! While you’re at it let me know why you’re running for Mercy, over at Mercy’s facebook page

Open Heart Surgery by the Great Physician

by Jillian Chubb

Mercy Ministries staff nurse, Jillian Chubb

I can remember the very first time I decided that a hospital does not provide the kind of healing that people really need.
I was still in nursing school then, and I had a patient with multiple and complicated illnesses.  I was used to seeing people in great amounts of physical suffering by this point, so his pain was not what made this particular patient stand out for me.   Instead I found my compassion drawn out by a deep sense of hopelessness every time I entered the room.  I realized that though all the medical interventions could help his physical body, I could do very little for the disease that was so much deeper in this man.

It has been some time since I cared for that particular patient, but my philosophy of practice has been forever changed by him and so many others like him. As a nurse I work at a local emergency department as well as at my part-time position at Mercy Ministries.  I am continually reminded of the incredible differences between my two places of work.

I will be the first to admit that Emergency departments are important places for crisis response, however we often see the same individuals come through time after time with the same mental health issues.   I often think it seems as though we are putting a Band-Aid on something that actually requires open heart surgery. At Mercy Ministries, however I have the privilege of being part of the “open heart surgery” that God is doing every day in young women’s lives.

We have many young women who come to Mercy with severe anxiety and depression; that comes with many labels.  For one young one woman in particular I remember how she came in to our program with many such labels and with little hope of being seen, or seeing her self any differently.  One day, a while into her stay at Mercy, I was in the kitchen when she came in so excited and said to me:

“I finally realized today that God loves me!”

photograph by Jamie Delaine

As a person that has grown up in the church and has heard the phrase “God loves you” about a million times, I can say that I have never believed it more.

Since that very day there was a drastic change in this young woman.  It was not necessarily in what she did but rather who she was.  The way she carried herself, her very demeanor changed in a way I really can’t quite describe.  Why it was in that moment, after hearing it over and over, that she made the connection I’ll never know, but this is the work of the Great Physician.

I find myself baffled more often than not, by the depth of the wounds that come through our doors.  When I feel overwhelmed, which so often I do, I remind myself of the Great Physician who specializes in healing these deep wounds. It is always amazing to me how he knows exactly what each heart needs.

A Gift in God’s hand

We’ve grown so used to hearing his footsteps at the home, that we can recognize his presence before we see his smile or hear his voice. He may arrive without notice or in response to a call for help but he’s always at the home for a reason.

Ed Pauls arrives at the Mercy home several times a week, to take care of routine tasks, discuss finances or to fix problems around the home. Yet, while focused and dependable, he always stops to talk, to smile, to check-in-on-how-you’re-doing and to listen.  His next visit may come as a result of something he’s observed or heard, solving problems that haven’t even been spoken.

You see Ed’s volunteer service has become as much a part of ministry to the young women at the Mercy Ministries home as, the counseling, the discipline, and the Bible reading. Though he does not directly address each young woman’s struggles, his care is felt as they enjoy the comfort of the home; his service powerfully demonstrating love in action. The time he takes to talk, speaks to them of their value and when he smiles as he walks  to a task, he uplifts one who may have been feeling down. Thinking of Ed, it is easy to paraphrase 2 Corinthians 9 : 12 – 13 to address him directly

This service that you perform is not only taking care of the Mercy Ministries home, but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourself, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your unique expression of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with the Mercy girls and with everyone who supports Mercy Ministries.

The current residents recently sat down to put together their thoughts of gratitude:

Ed gives instructions during the renovation

“Thank you” doesn’t seem meaningful enough for a man who has made such an impact on our lives here at Mercy. We want to take a moment to honor  Ed by saying a few things from our hearts of thankfulness.

Thank you Ed for being here – and so willingly – to give of your time. For all the maintenance and upkeep you do both around the house and outside. Everything from raking leaves, hanging Christmas lights, fixing our HOPE  sign and getting us new chairs. You always go the extra mile for us. Thank you for your big daddy hugs and your interest into our lives.

Your presence is a strong and gentle encouragement. Thank you for the compassion love and dedication you pour into our lives at Mercy. Ed you really raise the standard for other men and it’s an honor to know you. Words cannot express accurately our gratitude. We love you Ed.

Ed started volunteering to help build a house where young women could find hope. He took the skills and gifts he had, to help coordinate and put together a building, so that others could minister to those who struggle. God has taken his gifts – offered to Him gently and with humility- to feed minds, spirits and hearts.

Ed (far right) and his wife with the first graduates from the Mercy Canada home

Get into the Back Seat and Hold Her

By Marina Sullivan

We all have a story to live, to share and to embrace.  The truth is the story doesn’t always read the way we think it should.

At Mercy Ministries, staff are supporting actors in heroic stories. There are times we stand on the sidelines as choices are made and scripts rewritten.  This may mean that girls  walk away from the application process before being  admitted, leave the home  before they graduate, or sadly for some, the fire that they played with consumes them and a  life ends before the story was played out.

A life that ends prematurely speaks loudly of potential left undiscovered. Unmet destinies linger in empty spaces.

A vacant seat at a kitchen table

children not born

a husband not married

the missing contagious laugh at every get-together

Hind sight is 20/20 they say. It seems natural to look back and question if there was something we could have said or done to make a difference and change the ending.   Was there a sign that was missed or comment that went unheard?  In these difficult places, come difficult conversations.  Conversations with the ones left behind.

One such conversation, with a father of a Mercy applicant who had passed away suddenly, lingers in my mind and has impacted my life and my story.  I remember the waver in his voice under the strain of holding back tears.  He recalled a day with his daughter, a typical day filled with to-do-lists.

His daughter was in the back seat of the car and his mind was filled with the tasks of the day.  He said he knew she was having a hard day “but then most days had seemed hard lately.”  Then he said something so poignant, so heart stopping, that the depth of its meaning hit me to the core:

“If only I had got into the back seat and held her.”

There is little to compare to the un-quenched ache a of a parent.  Yes, that is love. Unfathomable.  Unrelenting.  All consuming, love.  That is the heart of a father.

It is there in the hard moments, the real moments that we get a glimpse of the love our Father in Heaven has for each one of us.  He is waiting and willing to meet us, to climb into the backseat with our junk and mess and pain, and hold us.  He knows the ending before it begins.  He knows the amazing story he has written just for us.  It is an epic story of love and hope and dreams”

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

Women who are on the waiting list for Mercy Ministries receive encouragement from women who are already in the program.  Small  3″x5″  index cards filled with  heart and hope  for  women they do not know,  yet  so intimately understand.  They appreciate how vital it is to be encouraged; they know the need for Jesus to meet them in the backseat where there is little control.

A Spa of Extravagant Love

By Christina L.

It’s been a few weeks since the Spa Night. As I remember the night, two words come to mind:

“Extravagant Love.”

The whole night reiterated the message clearly. Two of our Mercy Staff, Jenn and Zina, gathered us girls in a room, decorated to be like a Spa waiting room – dim lighting, music and snacks, as they prepared the rest of the house to resemble an actual spa, a surprise for us girls on a Friday night. We had no idea what to expect as we waited.

As they led us into “the spa” I was blown away by the care that they had put into every detail, making it an actual salon experience. Half of us girls did facials and half did pedicures. I didn’t really know how to react. It was a humbling experience to say the least.

First of all it was the best – and by the best I mean the best beauty products, elegant décor, an extravagant atmosphere. Also it was the best of them. Both Jen and Zina poured themselves into serving us, waiting on us, working hard to ensure every detail made us feel as if we were somewhere else. It was an experience that we should have paid a lot of money for.
It was awesome because I got to see their hearts for us, their hearts to serve us.

Humbled

It was humbling because I felt I had nothing to give back, just being at Mercy seemed like a blessing too good to be true, most days – the love, support, prayer, beautiful home and healthy food -  and  then to have these two women I  look up to and admire so much already, go to these lengths – even scrub our feet – to pour love on us. I sat in weakness bathed in love.

I was confronted with what I have been confronted with since the day I stepped through the Mercy doors – Grace – A chance, a gift that I don’t deserve.
Love unconditional. Practical, humble love.

Christina continues her journey of healing at Mercy

I will not easily forget this night, seeing the very heart of Jesus… He not only loves me in my weakness, but He loves me extravagantly and I am once again undone in gratitude for my saviour and I find myself thinking… who can I do this for in my life.