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Get into the Back Seat and Hold Her

25 Jan

By Marina Sullivan

We all have a story to live, to share and to embrace.  The truth is the story doesn’t always read the way we think it should.

At Mercy Ministries, staff are supporting actors in heroic stories. There are times we stand on the sidelines as choices are made and scripts rewritten.  This may mean that girls  walk away from the application process before being  admitted, leave the home  before they graduate, or sadly for some, the fire that they played with consumes them and a  life ends before the story was played out.

A life that ends prematurely speaks loudly of potential left undiscovered. Unmet destinies linger in empty spaces.

A vacant seat at a kitchen table

children not born

a husband not married

the missing contagious laugh at every get-together

Hind sight is 20/20 they say. It seems natural to look back and question if there was something we could have said or done to make a difference and change the ending.   Was there a sign that was missed or comment that went unheard?  In these difficult places, come difficult conversations.  Conversations with the ones left behind.

One such conversation, with a father of a Mercy applicant who had passed away suddenly, lingers in my mind and has impacted my life and my story.  I remember the waver in his voice under the strain of holding back tears.  He recalled a day with his daughter, a typical day filled with to-do-lists.

His daughter was in the back seat of the car and his mind was filled with the tasks of the day.  He said he knew she was having a hard day “but then most days had seemed hard lately.”  Then he said something so poignant, so heart stopping, that the depth of its meaning hit me to the core:

“If only I had got into the back seat and held her.”

There is little to compare to the un-quenched ache a of a parent.  Yes, that is love. Unfathomable.  Unrelenting.  All consuming, love.  That is the heart of a father.

It is there in the hard moments, the real moments that we get a glimpse of the love our Father in Heaven has for each one of us.  He is waiting and willing to meet us, to climb into the backseat with our junk and mess and pain, and hold us.  He knows the ending before it begins.  He knows the amazing story he has written just for us.  It is an epic story of love and hope and dreams”

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

Women who are on the waiting list for Mercy Ministries receive encouragement from women who are already in the program.  Small  3″x5″  index cards filled with  heart and hope  for  women they do not know,  yet  so intimately understand.  They appreciate how vital it is to be encouraged; they know the need for Jesus to meet them in the backseat where there is little control.

“Hello… Mercy Speaking.”

9 May

By Marina Sullivan

The phone rings and I answer.  Silence. A tentative hello, and then, like a waterfall, words begin to tumble into the air between us.

There is a tangible pull on my heart.  I hear the fear in the voice of a mother, the worry of a father, the apprehension of a young girl.  They all hope I have the answer they so desperately need.

The distance between us can be a few miles or the other side of Canada but when they reach out to me I can feel their desperation as if they were sitting right in front of me.  I am a life line.  I clench the phone tight to my ear and stare out the window as I listen.

The sun is shining today and the Mercy girls are outside.  I watch them as I listen to the worried voice on the phone.  They are smiling, laughing, and their songs of praise still ring in my ears from this morning. They were once on the other end of the phone.  Their cries once tugged on my heart. Today they are walking out their freedom.  They have chosen to overcome, to stand and to fight.  They seized the promise of a life filled with purpose and God’s perfect plan written just for them.

“Yes”, I tell the voice on the other end of the phone, “yes we can help you, there is freedom for you, it is waiting for you, let me help you find it.”  I direct them to our web site and explain how to download an application.  The tension lifts and we both feel hope, hope for a life waiting to be saved, of a new creation ready to burst forth and break the chains that bind.  I say a prayer of thanks to a God who radiates love, grace and immeasurable mercy that is too deep to comprehend.  There is hope here at Mercy, it is written on our walls and I have seen it grow and blossom. I have peace for a moment…

The phone rings and I answer…

Marina (centre back row) with Mercy Ministries' residents and graduates

Marina Sullivan serves at Director of Intake at Mercy Ministries, quietly providing hope to those who reach out.

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