Messy Mercy Brings Healing

By Katy Kaseburg

These women!  These women seeing their sister step out and proclaim truth boldly came not to judge her for a weakness but to join her.

Director of Counseling Katy Kaseburg

I have been asked ‘Is it really wise to have that many people with that many issues all together in one place?’  The face of this question has been a parent, a colleague , my own family and even a resident after her first week of being in the program.  On that face has been a look  – for lack of a better phrase – of holy fear.  All those broken people in one place?  Really?  You think that’s going to work?

Yes I say, and again I say yes.

Mercy is a wildly miniature, intensified version of the rest of my life.   A small ripple is felt as a wave because of how closely residents and staff are knit together.  Let me show you –

In my counseling  I like to throw curve balls every now and then, challenge a resident to see themselves in a completely new way, to turn their world upside down.   One of the residents let me challenge her last week.  I asked her to say,  in the fewest words possible, what she most needs to believe about herself.  She replied ‘I am worthy of love.’

Perfect. Accurate.

Honey, you are!  Okay, here is what I want: “honey when I say your name I want you to add ‘is worthy of love.’   Every time okay?”  doubtful looks and nervous giggles start,  then  “I guess I could.  Okay.”

Let’s practice.  “Honey…?”  “is worthy of love?”  “Honey…?”  “is worthy of love.”   “Honey…!”  “is worthy of love!”

I walked her through the house, replaying this scene till everyone knew what to expect from her.  It made staff come out of offices and residents smile in the most understanding way.

photograph by Rachel Ray photography

Here’s the part I want to share, the part that gets us back to living all smashed up together like this:  four days later, I was transcribing some assignments on my desk.  Instead of a name at the top, there was simply “Is worthy of love.”  I knew who she was.   But the next one, and the next ones had phrases too!

this darling, “hears from God,”

this precious one, “is covered in grace”

this treasure, “is free.”

These women.  These women!  These women seeing their sister step out and proclaim truth boldly came not to judge her for a weakness but to join her.

James 5:13-16 exhorts “Is any one of you in trouble?  He should pray. Is anyone happy?  Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of the righteous man is powerful and effective (emphasis mine).”

James tells me to be intimately and desperately connected into relationships, to a point of putting my weakness right out there.  Which is completely opposed to the powerful voice in my head telling me to RUN AS FAST AS POSSIBLE AWAY FROM PEOPLE!  Especially those who know me. Especially those who care.   Especially those who are open to the Holy Spirit’s leading, for he might lead them right into my shame.

God is giving me a step-by-step guide to healing.  Get into community.  Get honest.  With wisdom, show your vulnerabilities.  Respond to God, not to situations. Get prayed for.  Get healed.  [For those of you wondering, there is a healthy dose of waiting and surrendering in the process!]

The moment I admit to myself, to God and to my community that I am one messed up human being is the moment that I have opened the door for God to move in my life.  That is the thing about Mercy, in coming to a place like this you have to be pretty sure you need help.  When a new resident walks into the house she sees residents sitting on couches, making meals or stretching post-fitness and she KNOWS each one of them has declared ‘I am not okay!’

There is an openness to such humility that is very approachable.  I’ve never had a resident say about another “I’m so confused, I didn’t know that she had any problems!  I trusted her and now I’ve found out she is just as messed up as I am.”  Again and again I hear “I’m so confused, I didn’t know anyone else struggled with this too.  I thought I was the only one and it feels so good to know I’m not alone!  If she can do it, so can I.”

See, messy is not just Mercy.  Messy is actually why God gets all his people together in places we call churches.  Out of messy, comes pruning, refining, and defining.   When a resident at Mercy has a transformation of soul is it undeniable by every other resident and staff because we have SEEN the messy and we know just how deep it ran.  There is no better encouragement than this.

So yes, issues bump up against issues here.  But they do in our homes and churches too.

Mercy Breaks Through with Tears

by Katy Kaseburg

There are moments as a counselor
when you are able to wow your client.

You ask a question or to make an observation that can shift a way of thinking; those moments are often the product of years of study and thousands of pages of research crammed into the brain, emerging at the right moment.  Mystery decreases and my own sense of insight is strengthened.  Yet working at Mercy the lofty concept that is ‘I’ comes completely undone.

You must know first that I am not a crier — at least I did not used to be.  At 24 there were only three blessed souls who had ever seen me cry and I will admit it was accidental most of the time.  Through a few years of heart-softening I have come to terms with this part of myself, it still takes a good deal to get me there, but I have no shame in it.

Counselors are generally encouraged to be a ‘safe container’ for their clients, to create an environment of stability where the client’s feelings take center stage and the counselor is warm and open.  When the Spirit leads however, there is no formula or logic.

One of our new — to Mercy and to the faith — residents was telling a tender part of her story, as though it was a movie she once saw without any meaning to her. It made me cry.  Not an ugly, weepy cry but it took me by such surprise that I apologized to her saying: “I don’t know why I’m crying!”

We moved on with the session but before I sent her out my door she turned to me and asked “Do you want to know why you were crying?” “Of course!” was my reply to which she promptly answered:

“This morning I asked God if he really loved me,
if he really cared for me, if he could have a staff show some real emotion for me today.
And then you cried.”

Telling this story still brings tears to my eyes.  Why do I doubt the Spirit at work in me?  Why do I fear prayers are not enough for breakthrough for these women?  Why do I ask for scraps from the table of Christ when this baby Christian can boldly proclaim her desire for God to show up?!

“We give thanks to you, O, God, we give thanks, for your Name is near; men tell of your wonderful deeds.  You say, “I choose the appointed time; it is I who judge uprightly.  When the earth and all its people quake, it is I who hold its pillars firm.”  Psalm 75:1-2

God-Directed: Director of Counseling, Katy Kaseburg

“I never dreamed I would work somewhere I liked as much as Mercy, but God kept closing doors in my life until I ended up on their doorstep.”

Mercy Ministries’ new Director of Counseling, Katy Kaseburg is still excited about her role at Mercy, three months after filling the vacant position, where she does weekly one-on-one counseling with residents in the Mercy Ministries Home.

Katy’s role is key to helping young women at Mercy break free from the life-controlling issues that bring them here.  She enjoys the individual counseling sessions with Mercy Ministries’ residents, and the opportunity to watch the ongoing changes in their lives as they respond to God through the program.

She remembers one particularly God-inspiring moment as she observed the fruit of transformation in a young woman:

“We had asked one of the soon-to-be grads to choose the songs for the daily worship time. It was a rocking, amazingly blessed time of worship.  At the end, one staff member often closes in prayer, but instead this resident jumped right in, out of our worship, and into prayer over us as a group; asking for God’s blessing over us and thanking him for his unfailing love.

To see her blossom in this small way without any prompting from me was an inspiring reminder that God is doing deep works at every moment that I don’t see.  Makes me grateful that breakthrough and growth come, not from my meagre efforts, but from a perfect healer!”

Executive Director, Nicola Bartel, sums up what Katy’s brings to Mercy Ministries in this way:

“Katy is a woman of patience and grace with a calming presence to residents and staff. She is an incredibly intelligent and elegant young woman which she combines with a playful and warm sense of humour.”

Katy (third from the right) with residents and recent graduates

Katy is originally from Seattle, Washington.  She moved to British Columbia in 2003 to study at Trinity Western University where she has earned both  Bachelor and Masters’ Degrees in Counseling Psychology. Outside of her work at Mercy Ministries, she enjoys hiking and reading.